Be Kind to Your Tribe
Be Kind to Your Tribe
I decided to start and etiquette and life skills company because I noticed that there was a great need for people to be kinder to themselves and to others.
I noticed that when the theme of civility ran throughout a movie I was watching or a book I was reading, people seemed to be happy, there was beauty and music everywhere, never mind it was Old Hollywood and the characters were all paid performers. The fact still remained that the kind folks were always the ones with the richest lives. They had wonderful families, great friends and enjoyed the greatest pleasures in life.
So why cant we replicate this in real life?
The answer to me is simple, we tend to not live in physical communities anymore, we live in virtual tribes. And while it is great for all of us like minded individuals to get together and create a mastermind; isn’t variety supposed to be the spice of life? Opposites attract and all those other clichés that make the world go ’round. Does our virtual community allow us to be kind to ourselves and others? I will be the first to admit that it may be difficult to convey sincerity, humanity and civility via the internet, but it is not impossible.
If you are giving the homeless man on the corner a dollar because you are a philanthropist of the highest order, there is really no need to make the recipient of you benevolence stop his hard hearted panhandling to poser for a photo of the two of you holding your generous donation so that you can craft a dissertation to post on social media. Don’t get me wrong I am all for people giving when and how they feel led to give and I am sure that the person on the receiving end of your kind donation wont mind posing for a photo as a token of appreciation for your kind gesture, however if you take a moment and evaluate your emotions when giving from the heart, you will find that a strange tingling sensation known as joy will flow through you. You see when you do something that is good, with no ulterior motive- your body feels good. Why? Because your brain tells it to, it produces the “feel good” chemicals of endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine, (more about this in another post). The more you do good, the more you feel good about yourself, when you feel good about yourself you can be kinder and gentler to your self. It really is a win-win situation.
So we have identified our tribe, those groups or individuals who share our values and speak a dialect foreign to sometimes even our closest family members. There are tribes of Real Housewives, there’s the Bey-hive, Financiers, Bloggers; Minimalists; Entrepreneurs; there are those that are faith based, atheist and the list goes on and on. As diverse as many of the social communities are, there is one common theme that many ( not all) of them share. That being the lack of engagement. Often times we ( myself included) will hit the like button or heart something without engaging with the person that created the post. Why not take a moment and share what you specifically liked about the post. Perhaps share what resonated with you. Instead of doing a hit and run, engage with your people. In the same manner for those of us who like to drop a post then disappear, how about you hang around for a few and have a conversation, reciprocate the likes, we all feel good when we see that our posts have garnered a certain level of interest. It releases some of those feel good chemicals, and when we feel good, we do good and when we do good we feel better about ourselves, and when we feel better about ourselves, well-you know…
Finally I think in order for us to exemplify humanity and civility in our social circles, we need to be compassionate. We live in a world where we have an ever increasing chance of being captured doing or saying something that will be:
- Taken out of context
- Shared with millions
- the source of an online heated debate
making one the target for many not so kind remarks and opinions. We have all seen instances where responses to posts have led to the destruction of friendships and in some extreme cases the loss of life. Yes, we all are entitled to share our thoughts, talents and idea’s but we have to be kind and compassionate with each other. The golden rule sums it up as doing unto others what you would have them do unto you. The law of karma is one of cause and effect, how you make others feel will eventually be returned to you. Christians state that what you sow you will reap…I’m sure you see where I am going with this. The kinder, more compassionate you are to others, the better you will feel, when you feel good, you do good and you know how that story goes.
To sum it all up, if we really engage with our tribe, not seeking to take something from your community but rather to give of yourself, you will reap great rewards. Perhaps you will begin to see beauty everywhere or even hear the music of life playing in the background.